That Silly Lance Corporal
by TheNastyPOG
Summary: This is Naruto's story as a Marine. Read as he goes through training operations, deployments, and everything in between. This story uses a lot of Marine Corps related terms and is full of fowl language. There are also terms which may not be understandable to the reader such as boot or blue falcon that will be explained throughout the story. First story. All criticism is welcome.
1. Chapter 1

He stepped off the bus. He looked out over the hill covered terrain of Camp Pendleton as he smelled the crisp California air. He wondered what he would get to do in his new unit and when his first deployment would be. His thoughts were quickly cut off when he heard the booming voice of a non-commissioned officer.

"Hey boots, hurry up. We don't have all fucking day to sit around and look pretty. We've got checking in to do," yelled Corporal Kakashi Hatake.

"Aye-aye, Corporal!" screamed the four new boots.

Naruto Uzumaki, a newly promoted Private First Class, stepped off the bus. He was quickly followed by Shikamaru Nara, Kiba Inuzuka, Sasuke Uchiha, an a guy named Gaara. They followed Corporal Hatake into a building to see the company 1st Sergeant and the commanding officer before they continued on with the check in process. He quickly looked at their uniforms, told them the rules, and rushed them out the door.

Their day was hectic. They drove around the base for what seemed like forever, getting signatures for their check in sheets and getting the proper equipment. The four new boots didn't really talk to each other that much throughout the day. All that was heard was hushed whispers, followed quickly by the corporal telling them to to shut up. Naruto was just left to his thoughts. The new machine gunner just thought about deploying soon. All he wanted to do was lay lead down range using a machine gun. He broke off his thoughts once he arrived at the barracks.

"Well, this is the barracks. Field day is on Thursday. Just keep your rooms clean. The higher ups are assholes and like to walk through the brix just to fuck with us. Don't be a blue falcon," said Kakashi Hatake.

Naruto quickly put his sea bags onto his bed. He barely had time to sit down when he heard the door open.

"Hello?" questioned a recognizable voice. "Is anybody here?"

"Yeah. Me. Is that you Uchiha?" Replied the blonde.

"How the fuck did I end up getting roomed with a dumbshit like you?"

Naruto wasn't too offended by this statement. It was how Marines talked to each other.

"Shut the fuck up. What makes think I won't kick your ass?" Naruto said as he started to change into civilian clothing. Cammies get really uncomfortable after a while. Like for real, fuck that shit.

"Because you are the biggest loser I have ever met." Sasuke had the coldest look in his eyes. That is until a certain blonde put a SWAG shirt on which put a small smirk on Sasuke's face. "You have the weirdest taste in clothing."

"At least I'm not wearing moto shirts like the typical new douche in one of these units. Anyways, I am gonna get some sleep. We have PT tomorrow at six. Fuck yeah!" exclaimed Naruto.

"Why the fuck are you excited about PT at six? I would actually enjoy sleeping in for once. ITB sure as fuck didn't help with my sleep schedule," Exclaimed the dark haired youth.

"Quit being a whiney little girl. God damn. No wonder you're an '11 and not a '31. Bitch."

"Yeah, well fuck you. Night man," yawned Sasuke as he got into his sheets.

"Get fucked bum," replied the blonde.


	2. The Rules of Life

In his first few weeks, Naruto learned quite a bit about the Marine Corps. His first lesson was the the Marine corps can teach you a lot of things and does a lot of things which make no sense at all.

He joined an infantry battalion expecting to shoot weapons every other day and learning how to be an excellent machine gunner. What he learned instead was that all he really did was clean things. This was especially true of the new guys. All he did was clean the bathrooms which were now called heads or clean his rifle. He became an expert at finding dust in the most random places and wiping windows and mirrors to look busy. In the Marine Corps, you are never finished until time is up, so you just wipe things down to look busy. Yes, Naruto quickly learned that every Marine is a janitor as well as a rifleman. He also learned how to skate to get out of doing absolute bullshit. Like cleaning the toilets two times in a row. For no reason at all.

"Hey Uzumaki, go clean the heads out you silly boot," exclaimed someone that was a higher rank than him. He didn't give enough of a fuck to care about who they were.

"Sure thing," replied the blonde.

As he stepped into the bathrooms, he quickly smelled the overwhelming stench of bleach. Oh good fluoride. It meant that it was probably already clean. Which means he didn't have to do anything. He stepped inside to piss and blue falcon everyone that cleaned it. To his surprise, he found a Shikamaru Nara cleaning the stalls.

"Hey asshole, if you're going to piss find somewhere else. I just cleaned these," Said a flustered Shikamaru Nara. He was all about the skate life.

"Sure thing boss."

Another thing Naruto learned was all the terminology used by the Marine Corps. A bathroom was a head. A buddy fucker was a blue falcon. A POG was a personnel other than grunt.

"Hey Hatake, remember those POGs that tried to yell at us when we had our hands in our pockets? Fucking assholes, ahahaha," yelled Asuma Sarutobi.

"Yeah. I fucking hate POGs. They think they rate when they didn't go infantry. I hate POG Marines dude."

"What is a POG?" chimed in the curious blonde.

"A POG is a Personnel Other than Grunt. They are assholes who enlisted in jobs like combat engineer or intel and think they know what the actual Corps is like," answered Corporal Hatake.

"Oh. What a bunch of fucks," said the Naruto with a rather monotonous expression.

"Shut up and go clean the head. Boot."

Yes, Naruto quickly learned how the Marine Corps did things. He came to the conclusion that their leadership really didn't know what it was doing. ANd because of this, they always did things in a way that could have been much easier and made much more sense.

Naruto quickly learned a lot about the Marine Corps. Quite of bit of his newfound knowledge was not positive.


End file.
